How to cope.

The ability to cope is learned. It is an understanding of the tricks to picking yourself up time and time again and learning to continue the fight.

My niece, Stephanie
with her brain surgeon, 2017.

Me with my brothers, spring 2016.
Scott passed away a few months later.

So many people who I love endlessly, including my own nuclear family, have had to find ways to cope and continue to fight during this past year.

In my own family, we have coped within the past 12 months with subjects such as an unexpected death (my precious younger brother Scott), major health challenges, and some other types of major life changes.

Stephanie teaching yoga before her
brain stem surgery.
Photo credit: Ashley Gongora

Some have been coping with real financial challenges as a result of the need for end of life coronary care, an emergency exploratory brain stem surgery and rehabilitation afterwards, and that particular person (my sweet niece Stephanie) has also been dealing with the loss of one amazing state of health and adapting to another that is ever so much more challenging.

I think we had been motoring along a relatively unmarred road, and now it is becoming sadly apparent that maybe I didn't treasure that as much as I should have.

What a blessing it would be not to need to cope with much. I try not to worry, but instead to cope.

Our retirement dinner for LISD, 2017.

Things are continuing to change. In a matter of literally days, this career that I trained for as an 18 year old and got a degree to pursue will be wrapping up in its current iteration, and I will be moving to a new phase of my life.

While it was entirely my idea and it is what I want, it is still quite a bit to cope with. Moving ahead with my future requires a sharp look at my past and what it is that I need to ask of myself in the days ahead. (Also, there are some tough goodbyes!)

Retiring from our teaching career, 2017.

One thing I know from the emotions I have already gone through is that it is perfectly fine to feel this way. All of these emotions are really quite normal, and the emotions associated with all of the change are quite welcomed - I feel that it is helpful to feel these so that I can move on with my life.

The fleeting flight of emotion should be based in good mental health and not overwhelming pity.

I think it is good to feel emotional about all of these changes that we have been experiencing this year. I think it is also fine to feel a bit vulnerable at times like these. I have never been retired from my career before, and this is the first time that I have been able to say out loud how much I miss the brother that I have had since I was a toddler...

The studio at Career Center East (soon to be renamed!)

Early CCE presentation groups

In fact, with regard to retiring, I started working at the age of 15, so I don't think I really know "how" to be retired yet. At some point I know I will be running my own studio again, so it isn't really so easy to think of myself as being retired at this time. I feel no stress with regard to running a studio, and that is credit to an undeniable amount of self confidence. I don't know where that comes from, but it is welcome.

Going through changes undoubtedly changes your human qualities. Perhaps you feel a bit more empathy than you once did. Maybe you reach out to others a bit more easily when you find yourself struggling. It just fundamentally changes how you deal with things. It seems like you are a reborn version of yourself. 

Frankly, it is like you have trekked through the desert and you finally reached an oasis. Coping is beautiful.