Solitude.

This morning I woke up at an odd time. It was 3:50 AM according to the bleary eyed look I got at the glowing image of the digital clock. There were only a few faint sounds coming from anywhere. One sound was the rhythmic breathing of the dogs as they slept nearby. Another was the ticking of an analog clock that I have hanging on the bathroom wall. I also could hear the soft drops outside the window from an early morning rainshower. Otherwise, the house was stone cold silent.

For some reason, I got up out of the comfort of my bed and started to walk around. The house was dark except for a small nightlight that looks like a Tiffany glass butterfly that we keep on in the living room in case we need light during the night. The colored glass wings glowed beautifully as I walked into their light. I was glad it was on, because it was comforting to be able to see a little bit as I wandered around, headed for nowhere in particular, not even really knowing yet why I was awake. I needed to be walking around for a little while, but it is only now, the following morning, that I have come to an understanding of what I was really looking for last night.

I was searching for a little solitude.

Real solitude.

Lord Byron, the English romantic poet said, "It is in solitude when we are least alone." As one matures, sometimes poets become more common sensical. Less romantic, more true. I finally understood that line a little better at 3:50 AM last night. I was alone, completely, with my thoughts. I got the noise of daily living and constant responsibility out of the way and just focused on my feelings and ... I just thought for awhile. I was spending a little time with "me".

I realized how very happy I am. I never thought I wasn't, but I never realized how truly blissful my life is. I am so fortunate, I have so much to be thankful about. Solitude, and the early morning rainshower that happened along to bring those blessed moments of calm and quiet contemplation, helped me to feel very positive about the day that I am now embarking upon. I really am a lucky duck, and I am glad that I had some quiet time to reflect on that as I wandered around the dark house last night, pondering in the solitude.